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festend

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
Hello my name is Dustin and I would like to share my tale of a broken man. I had normal hearing most of my life up until the age of about 33. I went to a loud concert and when I came out, my hearing was very distorted in my right ear. I noticed right away, but I thought at the time that it was temporary and would go away. A few months later it was still distorted so I went to ENT, he told me it was permanent hearing loss and nothing could be done. My hearing has gotten worse and worse over the years. I was diagnosed with both Hyperacusis and Recruitment by a great Audiologist back in 2015’. He had me try TRT with hearing aids for over 1 year and it didnt help at all, everything was too loud and distorted. I am now 39 and cant even leave my front door without earplugs in. I never want to go anywhere or do anything because my hearing is so bad, everything is too loud and intrusive almost everywhere I go. When I drive without earplugs in and windows up my ears start making this awful hurricane sounding distortion so I have to drive with strong earplugs in too. My Immediate Family and friends have been very supportive of my condition, but my hearing just keeps getting worse and worse. I cannot even listen to music at all and I cant even turn up the TV loud enough to hear it because it sounds so distorted. I live alone and have no life partner. I spend most of my time in life in constant fear and panic about my awful hearing damage. I often feel like Im already dead inside, but I still maintain my Career and relationships with Immediate Family and friends, and I continue to fight through each day. I try my best not to think about Suicide. I know help is on the way, but its not here yet and even when I try to eat now, I start to feel sick to my stomach. I need help hands down and hopefully someone out there will read this and can relate. Any helpful thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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mj

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Posts: 5
Reply with quote  #2 
Dear Dustin,

I read your post and I can relate and I feel terrible for you and what you are going through. My hearing problem started after a concert as well and my head felt like it was "swimming" when I got out. It returned to normal so I thought for two years and then after going to a loud musical with a gunshot two years later, my problems really started with hyperacusis. 

It is sad when we compare our lives to where we were before and where we are now. When I get really down, I can spend too long in that place and it only makes me feel more terrible.  

I drive with ear plugs in, type with ear plugs in and do most things with ear plugs in. My ears are declining as well.  At times it is pretty scary and sad but I try not to think of it too much. I have done that for too many years and it makes me too depressed. Right now, I try to keep my self busy and useful in ways that I can be. I use to volunteer and be actively involved in a church. Now, I visit a dear women with Parkinson's in her home. It is volunteering in a different way.  I go to a Home Church and it small but I am so grateful for it!!! I now belong to a Bible Study and host it in my home as the past host's dog became to loud for me. I am now leading it and finding ways to  "stretch" myself and still grow.



I have some friends that are disabled and they have it very rough. Sometimes I wonder, who has it worse, them or me. Sometimes I have it worse when I feel like I am missing out on fun family parties and restaurants and other times I feel like I have it better when I am without pain or I can walk around in on a trail in the forest and do some gardening (with ear plugs in).  But it isn't a contest, we have it very bad, and so do other people as well. I try my best to get as grateful for all I have and all I can do. Otherwise I drive my self nuts and start to despair. A doctor once gave my a tip, keep your self distracted. Often when I am blue, I just try to find myself a healthy distraction. I also try to avoid finding "cures" on the internet. Cozo is doing well with his surgery yet I know another dear person who didn't do as well with the ear surgery. But you are right to say, there is hope with new advances in technology and medicine. I hold on to that as well.

I am currently taking a small dose of Zoloft, half the starter dose and for me, that has helped my mood tremendously. If you are open to and able to take an antidepressant, perhaps that might be something to look into?

As for finding a life partner, I am married. Sometimes I feel sorry for my husband for the way I am but he is very understanding and kind. He has his own back problems as well so it isn't just me, I have to remember that. I am so grateful for him. 

While Hyperacusis is extremely rare and hard for most people to understand. I hope that you don't sell yourself short. Treat your friends and family well and perhaps in time, you will find love or it will find you. Don't despair, that can happen for you. 

I am glad that you have a career and family and friends. Let's face it, many people with perfect hearing don't have that.

I hope you can calm down, find some lovely hobbies, see you friends and be kind to yourself. 

Take dear care of yourself Dustin and I will pray for you,

Monica






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Steve2017

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Posts: 130
Reply with quote  #3 
Wise words those - 'be kind to yourself' - I have been heavily involved in the study of positive energy to self heal - and I come across those words many times. Prayer is also very powerful... Meditation and 'power of the mind' to heal is very useful with healing. 
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s simpson
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Curry

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Posts: 37
Reply with quote  #4 
Steve2017, yes, that's what I do when I end my night. Before I go to bed, I pray to God for giving me the strength of what he was able to provide for me
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