The Hyperacusis Network Message Board
Sign up Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #1 
Hello, I've been a lurker here for about half a year now. Here's my story.

My H started in August. First came the T. I was lying in bed trying to get a few more minutes of sleep in the morning after my alarm went off, when I suddenly heard this very faint pinging sound in my left ear. A week before that, I'd been experiencing neck and shoulder pain along with fatigue. I also had a bad case of sinus infection that left my face aching. I also had random earlobe pain and stabbing pain inside my ear, but I figured they were sinus-related.

I ignored the T and forgot about it until a couple of days later when I heard it in a quiet room. For the rest of that week, I became obsessed with trying to hear my T everywhere.

Then, I went to the ENT who helps me manage my chronic sinus infection. She found a ball of wax pressed against my right eardrum, so she microsuctioned it out.

The ringing was still there when I left her clinic. I thought the T was going to disappear after a time, but that wasn't the case. Later that day when I was at the office, a coworker's voice seemed too loud to me. The toilet flush seemed to high-pitched as well. I was afraid something was wrong, but I convinced myself it was only my imagination.

But I confirmed my greatest fear on the car pool ride back home. From inside the car, I could hear the high-pitched squeaks and screeches of passing vehicles.

I went to another ENT at another hospital the next day for a second opinion. I was asked to take a CT scan and do a hearing test. Both yielded normal results. But I felt anything but normal. Everything sounded too glassy, too loud, and too high-pitched for me. It's as if my hearing not only amplified, but also changed range. At the hospital, I could distinctly hear keys jangling and shoes squeaking. I could also hear the whistles of the traffic enforcers outside, along with the honks of vehicles. For healthy ears, these would be background noises. But for me, they're not. They pierced through and they became foreground noises.

That night, I listened to some of my favorite songs. As I suspected, they also sounded higher-pitched. I couldn't hear the bass, and the high notes sounded too tinny.

The next day at the office proved to be problematic. My desk was by the window, and up on the 28th floor, I couldn't hear any of the traffic noise below. But that all changed, too. I had to move to an aisle seat because I couldn't bear to hear the endless honking and whistling down below.

But I figured that I would get on with my life. So what if the world sounded a bit different? I was feeling annoyed but I didn't feel overwhelmed. I could deal with that, or so I thought.

For two months (August and September), the world seemed louder but I didn't feel pain. Then one day, while I was tearing open a snack bar, I noticed my ears thumping along with the crumpling of the foil. That scared me.

So around November, I started carrying earplugs, but I wore them sparingly. I noticed that the thumping ears happened in small enclosed spaces (maybe because the sounds bounce back faster), so I just learned to be careful about where to go.

But everything changed in December, and I can't pinpoint a specific reason for that. Anyway, suddenly I find myself getting startled so easily. Someone coughing can make me feel like I'm jumping out of my seat. Also, high-pitched sounds are not just annoying -- they now also make my ears feel tender and bruised. If someone slams their metal cabinet at the office, I feel pain in my ears. Not anger or discomfort or anything like that. It's pain, not severe but pain nonetheless.

In addition, I developed vibration sensitivity. I can feel sounds even more now, like if someone's talking to me, I can feel their voice vibrating off a nearby surface. When trucks and motorcyles pass me by, the vibration they produce which I feel within my body is worse than the loud sound they make. In fact, when I stand by the office window now, I can also hear and feel motorcycles, on top of the honks and whistles.

Since getting T and H, I've avoided noisy places in general like clubs, cinemas, and large gatherings. I also stopped using earphones, so I don't understand what caused my worsening. I wondered if it's my short overseas flight that caused it. At the start of December, I went abroad for a few days for a holiday, but the trip itself went well. I wore protection at the airport and on the plane, and while abroad, the activities I did were pretty quiet. I took the train a lot there, but I made sure to wear earplugs when it got noisy.

I don't understand this very gradual worsening. I tried to reasonably get on with my life but it seemed that didn't work for me. Am I experiencing delayed H symptoms? Now, I wear ear protection all the time because I don't know anymore what will make me worse.

P.S. I also don't know what caused my T and H. [frown] But I suspect it was a music festival I attended 1.5 months before T and H onset.
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #2 
Please get help from a person trained in TRT / sound therapy.  Hoping it will spontaneously go away isn't a good idea after six months.  Also, don't obess over the cause.  It doesn't matter.

Those are two mistakes I made, so don't make them yourself.
0
AnthonyO

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 107
Reply with quote  #3 

Bananacupcakes:

Some of us on this here very Network have experienced the same exact symptoms you are going through; so dear, you are not alone. Most, I would say, don't really feel the vibration sensitivity, but some do. Many experience the pain, however.

One of my co-workers has Muscular Dystrophy and is wheel chair bound. I would wheel him into the radio studios we work at, and if we come to a stop and I am still holding onto the back push handles, I can feel his speaking vibrating right though my soul it seems. Probably, if the average person without Hyperacusis would stop, focus and concentrate on this particular type of vibration, then sure, they might be able to pick up on it too, but you are so right when you made the discovery that the traffic 28 stories below you, was just at one time background noise, but now it seems as though it pierces through and has become foreground noise.

I also have experienced visual, odor and touch sensitivities; for some very unknown and eluding reason, the 5 human senses tend to "spill-over" into a consortium of hyper-sensitivity for some people, probably because the senses are very "globally linked" by the brain; this is obvious, this we do know.

Your ears feel as if they are thumping, may be due to the muscles, tendons & ossicles in the inner ear, over reacting, due to mixed messages now coming from the brain's auditory processing system. The symptom that I most relate to that you speak of, is how "glassy, sharp & trebly" music had become. With me, it just was not only music, but the voices of people that I loved, as well as perfect strangers too. This depressed immensely.

There is so much still unknown about Hyperacusis, as well as Tinnitus; so much still to explore, learn and discover about Decreased Sound Tolerance, or what some might refer to as "Amplified Hearing". Funny, those two terms almost are planets away from one another in it's pure definition, but the message is still the same.

Working with an Neuro-Otologist that has some background in auditory processing disorders, might be in best order for you at this time. Some use sound therapies as a means of trying to regain what they have lost. There is a group called the T.P.A. (Tinnitus Practitioners Association) that treats with this method, as well as audiologists that counsel with T.R.T. (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy). However, until we duly & rightfully find the true mechanics behind Hyperacusis, Tinnitus and the many other forms of Reduced Sound Tolerances, only then would we be able find a very long & lasting chance of full recovery...and a long awaited cure.

God bless you Bananacupcakes.

AnthonyO

0
saab1216

Registered:
Posts: 400
Reply with quote  #4 
Bananacuocakes....What you shared about your symptoms nearly made me jump out my chair in astonishment. You can see my story that I recently posted here. Will talk more later. Paul
0
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #5 
I have a fairly new symptom. I mentioned that I had stabbing ear pain and also burning sensation in my earlobes before T and H happened.

These stabbing pain and burning sensation are back again, but stronger than before. And earlier today, when a metal cap fell on the wooden floor of my bedroom, I didn't just feel a sudden pain in my left ear (the one closest to the cap); I also felt lingering stabbing pain that lasted for a couple of minutes after.

I also feel neck, temple, and cheek pain. This usually starts with the pain inside my ears.

I'm in hell. And the frightening thing is, I know it may get worse.
0
saab1216

Registered:
Posts: 400
Reply with quote  #6 
I can only tell you to see a qualified audiologist who uses TRT treatment. I had identical symptoms ...the pain in shoulder,neck and scalp. All of the hearing and sound issues too. I was extremely helped and overcame it with TRT and constant sound enrichment. You cannot fight this alone. There is hope for you as there was for me.
0
kuhnstefanie

Registered:
Posts: 15
Reply with quote  #7 
the same symptoms on me, neck, shoulder and cheek too.
0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #8 
Hearing symptoms very similar. Traffic from two miles on a busy highway sounds amplified !  Keep us updated and take care!


Kathy Mc


0
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #9 
I don't know how you guys can survive this. It amazes me how some people have H for years, decades, and yet they're still around in spite of the misery and isolation. I don't understand, and I probably never will.

I'm a year into this whole mess and I don't see the point of living anymore. I'm just surviving, but I don't think I'll be able to for much longer. I would rather go for quality than quantity because if I do otherwise, I feel like I'm just settling for second best. But I don't see why I should. I think I deserve better than struggle daily, considering that even before getting H, my life was already challenging.

I know life is tough. Believe me, I've had my share of hardships. Years of anxiety and depression, mixed in with derealization and suicidal ideation, I lived through all that and got through it. I developed dependency on benzos, so I also had to overcome that.  There's so much more, yet I managed to triumph.

But this ... hyperacusis is a different beast. It's just the last straw. I feel like life is determined to knock me down and it finally found what would make me cave in. I'm just looking for a peaceful way to go and I'm out of here.

Thanks for all your input and good luck on your journey.
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #10 
I have had hyperacusis for about five years.  I can "deal with it" because I have been able to significant improvement with TRT sound generators and pink noise therapy.  Cured?  Not yet.  But it works to gradually eliminate pain and increase (until I have another relapse that is due to a car horn or something else).

And even when I have a relapse it does not get nearly as bad as it did before I started therapy.

It is deeply unpleasant, but I know what I can do to improve.

I think I will be mostly free of this one day.  

A supportive family, friends and sunday school class helps a lot too.
0
Tainee

Registered:
Posts: 66
Reply with quote  #11 
There is so much you can do to cope with this awful condition. I have been 'cured' several times only to suffer a worse setback, and this for many years. Unfortunately, sound enrichment other than white noise does not help me at all, quite the contrary. It is too dynamic. I am practising mantras or self-talk right now in addition to taking two supplements. I always am doing something about it. Sometimes it works just for a day and I get a big boost from that. But a lot of people swear by TRT therapy and sound generators. You have to keep trying everything and overcoming the depression of setbacks if they occur. You must turn the page away from negative thoughts and persevere in a positive way, if only to enjoy a few good days at a time for now. Recovery exists, it depends on the path you take each and every day!
Wishing you well!

__________________
Tainee
0
gardennut

Registered:
Posts: 140
Reply with quote  #12 
Hi Banana cupcakes...... love your moniker. Like you, this H and T are not the only challenges life has given me. I am sometimes amazed at what one can adapt to in life. I think we all have thought we can't live with this, but somehow we do. As I've gotten older , I now have to deal with the old age things.
Ive had the ear thing for many years, use ear plugs and sometimes muffs, have a couple friends that will listen to me vent. In return I listen to their problems. We are not alone in this life. I have one friend who is also sound sensitive to a lesser degree than me.
Are there any quiet activities that you can do and enjoy ? Do you have to work and if so is that a problem too ? I hope you can get some relief from this Network to know that you are not alone in this at all.
With great empathy.......  Donna

__________________
Donna Keddie
0
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #13 
I'm not depressed. I used to battle with depression so I know what it feels like. If anything, there are still a lot of things I would like to do and goals to accomplish, but can't now due to hyperacusis.

I've been assessing my situation rationally. I'm aware that people can adapt to so many situations, but I also know it can reach a stage where it's pointless to go on. I would rather not waste away, thank you very much. I gave this one year, and I didn't like it at all. I don't see the reason for carrying on for many years like this.

If you're okay with giving up life's joys, dealing with setback after setback, looking for numerous ways to cope, feeling like a freak in a too-loud world, being contented with a few good days in exchange of many miserable ones, accepting isolation, living half a life and mostly inside your head, and basically just surviving, then do so by all means.

But I am not okay with that. I am not okay with being a shadow of my former self. I lost a good quality of life. Sure, I can settle for much, much, much less like most sufferers have, but personally I find it insulting if I settle for that. I don't have low standards.

Hyperacusis is a debilitating illness. Some sufferers have committed suicide over this and I can clearly see why. I will be one of them soon. I am just making final arrangements now before I get out of this wretched world by Christmas.

My major frustration is that hyperacusis isn't eligible for assisted suicide. Because yes, this condition can be that horrendous. It's such a shame that there is no cure and yet, also no legal way out.
0
saab1216

Registered:
Posts: 400
Reply with quote  #14 
Dear banana cupcakes. It's never the time to consider taking ones own life. I felt like you too. I suffered for 5 plus years and today am hyperacusis free. As a once strong believer in Christ,I became despondent and prayerless.I thought how could a loving God deal this to me? I became bitter and angry. It's when I decided to become proactive and beat this thing. I prayed to God to at least show me how. I confronted this everyday as an obsession .An obsession I never could compare to any other. It was about Me and my willingness to overcome a failing life. My marriage in the pits of hell..job on the line..you name it. It took time and persistence. With every tiny improvement came huge setbacks.Being discouraged became the norm. But...deep inside I read about God's promises to reward those who diligently seek him. Was I pure and holy enough to receive what he promised? I thought not. I was angry at myself for believing. I found no other offers of help or hope anywhere else. So, call me a fanatic or call me crazy. I'm glad that I pressed onward regardless of the many tears and painful days being forced to work without being compensated for an illness that nobody really cared to understand.
Within yourself,try to see others who also suffer. They are the many hidden sufferers behind deformities, abnormalities,sicknesses etc.They too have a daily struggle. You are not alone. You are not your own but bought for a price. Give yourself just a bit more time and give your problems to a higher power than yourself.
Sure miracles can happen but not the way we would expect. Healing for me came slowly but steadily. You can choose whatever faith you have or none at all. I'm just giving you my personal testimoney. Some angrily mock it. They feel it was luck. I don't think luck had much to do with the seemingly impossible. Please consider what you are really saying.
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #15 
bannancupcakes, do not kill yourself!

For one, suicide is wrong.  It is an extremely cruel thing and selfish to do to your family.  God does not want you to kill yourself.

You want to give up after a year?  No! don't!  Some people on the network have gotten better after fighting it for multiple years.  Every one's case is different.


0
dylan

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 139
Reply with quote  #16 
Comments have been made in this thread that violate Rule 5 at the bottom of this page MANDATORY BOARD ETTIQUETTE.  Knowing that support is critical to individuals at difficult times in their life - I do not want to ban anyone.  There is always hope.  If comments persist that violate this rule further action may have to be taken.  Thank you for your cooperation...

dylan
0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #17 
Hi Banana cupcakes!

I must admit I am confused, regarding most peoples symptoms.  I no longer experience much pain, but amplified hearing, (everything actually sounds TOO LOUD) with the chronic T (several different signals) and kindling has left me pretty much housebound for five years.   I can relate to your post.....BUT I somehow believe it is inherently wrong to do away with our God given life....yes God given.  I really don't know what symptoms  you are experiencing,  but I can tell you one year is not along time !!   It is way too early to be giving up on yourself !!!    The majority of people do not actually go through with their plans to end their own life.  I believe I am safe in saying that a lot of us can relate to you, and have THOUGHT about this option....BUT Thinking about it and actually DOING are two different things.  I believe you desperately need professional help. Are you taking any medication ?  If not, I believe you may benefit from it.  What about your family, those that you are close to?  I am so very sorry you feel this way, I DO know how you feel, but that is an option you DO NOT WANT TO TAKE. 

After reading more of this thread, my pain was very much like yours, which has now subsided for the most part.  I continue to have other similar symptoms you describe though.  Traffic noise, such as what Anthony O described, certain sounds such as people voices ect.  

Please reconsider your options.

Kathy McCain

0
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #18 
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a downer. I don't want to die, I just want this suffering to end.

I don't have access to TRT where I live so I made up for it by listening to white noise and pink noises. I also got rid of the earplugs in everyday environments to desensitize myself but that led me to being exposed to a speaker that suddenly blasted loud music. My threshold dropped and I also got burning ear pain after that.

Just before this happened, I had planned to fly to a nearby country to consult a TRT audiologist, but now I'm afraid I can't fly anymore.

I'm only in my early 30s and I'm healthy otherwise. I had big plans and now ... I don't know what to do.

Also, travel is my favorite hobby and now it's taken away from me. I can't imagine getting on a plane, a train, a bus. I have struggles with short car trips now. I feel so broken.

0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #19 
bananacupcakes, we know what you are feeling like.  I have felt the same way as you have.  It is easy to despair after a setback.

I wear earmuffs in parking lots (because of car horns) and have to wear ear plugs when I teach.  I have to do it like this for the time being.  You might have to do something similar in some situations.

You do need to do sound therapy to help you recover, wether it is done with a pink noise cd or wearable sound generators or both (I do both, and find both types very helpful).

Can you do a phone consult with the TRT practicioner?  Can you get the wearable sound generators via mail order?  Maybe you can cut out the plane trip.



0
anniekin

Registered:
Posts: 105
Reply with quote  #20 

Banancupcakes, what I heard loud and clear in your post is that you really angry about this. That is what I hear when you say you shouldn't have to deal with this, you don't deserve it and your standards for your life are higher than that and you are not going to just accept less. I don't blame you, when I first had this I said one day if I couldn't have my music and a social life and some sort of normalcy I don't want to be around. But I didn't mean I would really do it. For one thing I take my commitment to my husband who is disabled very seriously, he needs me, he supports me in my difficulty, and I know my friends would be very sad, and I just know it is not an option to up and leave!! I do completely understand the feeling of outrage though, it may not be depression, it is wanting to shake your fist at this enemy that has parked itself in your life.
 
I suspect it will help to get some guidance from a TRT audiologist and I'm sure some of them must do Skype because lots of H people won't travel. Or maybe they help you figure out how to travel safely.

I have severe H and I travel with Bose earphones or earbuds on the whole time I am on the plane or in the car. I refuse to give up travel. Some trips that will involve longer flights and more noise and music will have to wait til I get better. From my experience I would suggest you use some of that spunk and anger to find a way to do some of what you want anyway, you sound like a person who would be helped by taking action rather than just giving up. 

I sometimes wonder what people on this forum do to have a life. People talk a lot of treatment and symptoms, but I wonder what everyone is DOING from day to day since probably a lot of us can't do whatever we used to do or have had to modify quite a bit. People who have had this condition for a long time still have lives, I look to them for their wisdom in how they "settle" for the new reality and how it changes over time.

I didn't take this lying down, but I have mellowed over time with my anger, I have had some improvement over 2 plus years which is either from TRT or the passage of time, I have luckily had NO setbacks. I have had friends with disabilities and terminal cancer and things that give me some perspective on my own suffering. I try to nourish myself in every way I can think of to make up for my stupendously bad luck in having had a noise injury when a neighborhood child I didn't know came to my house and blew something up on my porch, what are the odds of THAT happening?

I have a little postcard in my room that is a graduation certificate from the "School of Hard Knocks" that is validating and makes me feel like a survivor. 
Humor, once you can feel it again, helps A LOT.
Best to you-
Anniekin

0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #21 
anniekin/bananacupcakes

Not trying to steal bananacupcakes thread....but everyone's symptoms seem to be  different.  anniekin says she can travel by air with her Bose, but some people are practically housebound, and even with the Bose could never travel by air.   It all depends on ones symptoms.  It seems to me that bananacupcakes has serious LOUDNESS H, or what I call amplified hearing, and frequency problems.  She also has some pain.  I don't know about the T.  

This H condition is getting very confusing to me.  It seems it has been re-defined. This is why I ask people what their specific symptoms  are.  It is almost impossible for someone with severe LOUDNESS H and T, especially with kindling and reactive T with or without pain, to get out and about.  I know, I am one of them.   

As far as illness goes, for me personally I have been tested in this regard many times, including aortic valve surgery.  With all my surgeries the doctors knew EXACTLY what to do, and the prognosis was very good.  I had to endure, but I KNEW I would recover,  as difficult as it was.  I could move forward with my life.  With these auditory conditions though, there is no end in sight, or so it seems.  The doctors are clueless and I have consulted with a few. 

I do believe anniekin makes  some very excellent, and helpful points though.  I have posted before with regards to bananacupcakes situation as you can see in this thread.  I encourage her to not give up, and as anniekin posted, use that spunk and anger to help herself improve.  

All of her feelings are quite typical and not that uncommon.  Like I said before thinking about something, and actually DOING are two different things.

Don't give up!!

God bless
Kathy McCain
 



0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #22 
Another good point anniekin made when she said,  I wonder what people are doing all day?  That is not an actual quote, but similar.   I would like  to see more people on this support group post what they do from day to to day to manage these conditions, and actually DO AND LIVE LIFE. What specifically are they capable of doing and how do they do it?  People like myself would greatly appreciate,  although I believe it's a good idea for everyone, no matter where you are with this. 

Take care everyone,
Kathy Mccain
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #23 
I manage my condition by:

1) doing sound therapy with ear sound generators and pink noise 

2) wearing earmuffs in the parking lot to ward off car horns

3) wearing muscians ear plugs while teaching.

4) wearing cut down muscians ear plugs (with less protection) when in noisy stores etc.

The sound therapy improves tolerance and reduces pain over time.  Eventually, I hope to not need ear plugs except in unusual situations.
0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #24 
Thank you Aplomado,  

I am assuming that the primary reason you wear hearing protection is for noise induced pain, as opposed to actually hearing environmental noise much louder, or amplified with kindling and reactive T?  If so your symptoms are much different than mine.

It is good that you are at a place where you can manage and function on a day to day level. I appreciate your helpful response.  I am hoping we will get more responses. 

Pink, or white noise only aggravates my condition, unfortunately. 

Take care and thanks again,
Kathy McCain


 
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #25 
My primary problem is ear pain, but I do have increased loudness.  The increased loudness is much less than it used to be (the pain is also).

I do use ear plugs, but I absoultely would not recommend them for dealing with situations that a person finds currently tolerable.  Excessive use of plugs will reduce your tolerance.  I have found to my sorrow that I can't tolerate stuff like car horns though.

Kathy, just an idea, if you can't tolerate pink or white noise, you might try starting them at a very low level and slowly work up... that is what I did.
0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #26 
Hi Aplomado,

I still can not tolerate sound going down into my ears, but I think I will try some sort of sound similar to the pink noise on Cd.  I have been using soft music and a fan, but brown noise does not seem so harsh to me.  Maybe I could start with that at night.

Thanks for the suggestions.  They are always welcome!

God bless,
Kathy Mc
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #27 
That sounds like a good idea.  You might want to try water / nature noise also, it is pretty soothing.  I did that a lot, and it does help.  I did have better results with pink noise though.  Maybe you could try other noise and transition to pink noise when your tolerance improves.
0
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #28 
All I can see from posts here and other support groups is that life with H is very difficult.

So what keeps you going? What makes life still worth living for you? I want to know and then I'll see if I can find the same thing in my life.
0
saab1216

Registered:
Posts: 400
Reply with quote  #29 
Family..my children..my wife....the warm sun..a cool breeze as I jog over a beautiful river view...Food...good wine..restful sleep..peace and quiet. I learned to accept the beauty in the world and my life and condition changed.Don't despair
0
Blessedoldsoul

Registered:
Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #30 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bananacupcakes
I'm not depressed. I used to battle with depression so I know what it feels like. If anything, there are still a lot of things I would like to do and goals to accomplish, but can't now due to hyperacusis.

I've been assessing my situation rationally. I'm aware that people can adapt to so many situations, but I also know it can reach a stage where it's pointless to go on. I would rather not waste away, thank you very much. I gave this one year, and I didn't like it at all. I don't see the reason for carrying on for many years like this.

If you're okay with giving up life's joys, dealing with setback after setback, looking for numerous ways to cope, feeling like a freak in a too-loud world, being contented with a few good days in exchange of many miserable ones, accepting isolation, living half a life and mostly inside your head, and basically just surviving, then do so by all means.

But I am not okay with that. I am not okay with being a shadow of my former self. I lost a good quality of life. Sure, I can settle for much, much, much less like most sufferers have, but personally I find it insulting if I settle for that. I don't have low standards.

Hyperacusis is a debilitating illness. Some sufferers have committed suicide over this and I can clearly see why. I will be one of them soon. I am just making final arrangements now before I get out of this wretched world by Christmas.

My major frustration is that hyperacusis isn't eligible for assisted suicide. Because yes, this condition can be that horrendous. It's such a shame that there is no cure and yet, also no ilegal way out.
Bananacuocakes, please don't give up. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I can relate to the hell you feel but you have to keep on keeping on. You have a purpose.
1
bananacupcakes

Registered:
Posts: 60
Reply with quote  #31 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessedoldsoul
Bananacuocakes, please don't give up. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I can relate to the hell you feel but you have to keep on keeping on. You have a purpose.


I hate empty platitudes almost as much as I hate hyperacusis.
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 711
Reply with quote  #32 
bananacupcakes, have you gotten professional help for your hyperacusis yet?
0
rodmccain

Registered:
Posts: 225
Reply with quote  #33 
Dear Bananacupcakes,   I too feel that way myself.  I somehow feel it is inherently wrong to take a life that is God given though.   You have had this for only one year!   Believe me there are people that have had this horrible condition much longer and have improved there life a great deal !  

Again I do understand where you are coming from, I have said and thought almost the same words.   I have a family though.  I keep thinking about how they would feel.  Sure life would move forward for them and continue....BUT IT WOULD LEAVE A TERRIBLE SCAR, for the rest of their lives, a hole they could not really fill. 

Last time you posted you mentioned your office environment with the street noise.  Are you still working?   Can you get out at all ?  If you are, it seems to me that is a good sign.  

I believe you should seriously consider medication, and some talk therapy until you can find the meds that help you to cope. 

Take care and God bless
Kathy Mc


0
Johnloudb

Registered:
Posts: 1,951
Reply with quote  #34 
didn't read the whole thing but after getting wax removed sounds will sound louder to you and symptoms may worsen for a period. reading what you wrote is a story i've heard a thousand times and experienced myself.

I suggest you focus on desensitization ... if you don't know how, learn. Do some reading and focus on recovery and forget your symptoms, they are no big deal. you got to learn though how to get better though and keep at it.
0
stresseemoijms

Registered:
Posts: 41
Reply with quote  #35 
Look, I briefly dealt with these kinds of feelings early on. I question constantly what makes life worth living, in and out of H. Meaningful relationships and a sense of purpose are what makes life worth living. It is all about finding the right ones and then you can get through anything.

For me, art, music, and love are what makes my life worth living. So yes, when I first got this I couldn't listen to music again so I thought I could never be happy. It's not true. I've had it for a year and a half. You simply have not had this long. Already I am playing music again and listening to it every day. I wear ear plugs to play it but I am so thankful I can do it at all. I decided I loved music too much to give it up.

Meaningful relationships are rarer. If you find one, cherish it and don't take it for granted.
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.



This message board is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for any medical advice. MANDATORY BOARD ETIQUETTE: 1. No personal attacks. 2. No profanity or use of inappropriate usernames. 3. No self solicitation of goods or services. 4 No discriminatory remarks based on race, gender, or religion. 5. Prohibitive postings include the following: discussing or suggesting the intent to end one's life, moderating or actions made by the moderators, and/or revealing personal information (full names, address, phone number). Rule infraction may result in either a warning or ban, depending on the severity. Kindness matters.