The Hyperacusis Network Message Board
Sign up Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Queenmacha

Registered:
Posts: 59
Reply with quote  #1 

 I am H O H and have been since 1985. I also have Meniere's syndrome, Tinnitus and Hyperacusis. I cannot lip read, as trying to triggers Meniere's.  The coronavirus is showing up a lot of problems that Hearing difficulty people have had for years.  But a question I would like to ask, is, in my case, would it be better to be completely Deaf rather than HOH.  The reason why I'm asking is if I'm listening (trying) to conversation, t v etc, I can only pick up a small % of what's said and then rely on someone close to tell me what was said.  To cap it all, while I'm being "informed", the conversation has moved on and then neither I or my "informant" know what is being said.  Which create's a "hair pull out" scenario and intense stress. Which takes me back to either being Deaf or H O H. I know which I would prefer, but I will wait and see what the feelings are on it.  Another facet to H O H, is that people see me answering questions ( those that I heard)  and then seconds later I cannot pick up whats being said and they accuse me of "selective hearing"

__________________
joe mc gahan
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 695
Reply with quote  #2 
I do not think it would be better to be deaf... at all.
0
Queenmacha

Registered:
Posts: 59
Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you for your reply, people whom I come in contact with, many of them see H O H sufferers as an inconvenience, and treat us as such
__________________
joe mc gahan
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 695
Reply with quote  #4 

I think I see what you mean.

The problem is, I suspect it would be much worse if you were deaf.

Some people may not try and talk with you at all.

I think deafness could be socially isolating.

I do remember what Helen Keller (deaf and blind) said- she said deafness was worse than blindness because blindness cuts you off from "things" and deafness cuts you off from people.

I am not hard of hearing fortunately, so these are my uneducated thoughts.

My mother is very HOH and she deals with it gracefully.  She wears hearing aids cranked up to the max and has learned to read lips to some degree.  I do recall you said you have problems reading lips.

0
Queenmacha

Registered:
Posts: 59
Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you again,  Yes, I see what you mean, (especially Hellen Kieller's comment), however, I'm that some people have stopped talking to me anyhow and will talk over me, but at least from my point of view, (right or wrongly) I would have to suffer the indignity of being ignored and belittled, without feeling angry and disillusioned, knowing that they can say whatever they want, and using an old saying "what you dont hear, wo'nt hurt ye)
__________________
joe mc gahan
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 695
Reply with quote  #6 
Yes, that sounds very obnoxious.

When I think about certain things it makes me very upset.  There is nothing helpful about getting mad about things we can't do anything about though...

Talk to people who talk to you.

To tell you the truth, it is possible some of the people who appear rude to you are just embarrassed to talk to you if they don't think you can hear them well.  It may make them feel foolish and awkwards.  Their rudeness may not be malicious.  Many years ago I once knew a wonderful girl with a severe speech impediment.  I did not talk to her as much as I wanted to because I had trouble understanding her, which embarrassed me.  That was a mistake on my part.  

There are situations in my life that I don't like now, but can't do anything about.  If I think about them much, I become unhappy.  I am working on trying to think about things under my control instead, difficult thought it is.  Have you heard of cognitive behavioral therapy?  It focuses on a person consciously changing what s/he thinks to improve his/her happiness.  I think there is a lot of truth to that.  

When someone talks past you, perhaps you can try 1) assuming they are embarrassed or awkward rather than being malicious 2) letting it roll of you and immediately thinking of something else more positive rather than dwelling on it.
0
Queenmacha

Registered:
Posts: 59
Reply with quote  #7 
Thank you Aplomado,  you raise so many genuine points and insights, plus downright common sense. I am on a hiding to nothing, I cannot wear Hearing aids, as the amplification triggers Hyperacusis, nor can I attempt Lip reading, as the Dr advised me not to learn lip reading as the stress and intensity of concentration triggers Meniere's, and I have to go to bed no matter what time of day is. So when an ignoramus scoffs at me and my hearing, it is very hard to take.  I just wish a hole would open up in front of me and I could disappear forever,  especially if there are others in the vicinity when these episodes happen.  I know that I'm listing my problems, but I'm always aware that there are a great many people worse of than myself.  I was on a Hearing Link course in 2014 and I wrote a poem about Hearing loss Tinnitus and Hyperacusis, and I have been considering Posting it again on Hyperacusis Message Board.  I will have to look it up again and hopefully have a go.  Thank you fro reading this
__________________
joe mc gahan
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 695
Reply with quote  #8 
Yes, please post your poem.

I have hyperacusis ("manageable" at this point) but not hearing loss.
0
Queenmacha

Registered:
Posts: 59
Reply with quote  #9 
Cheer's , I'm thinking of putting it in as a "new thread", O K ?
__________________
joe mc gahan
0
Aplomado

Registered:
Posts: 695
Reply with quote  #10 
ok
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.



This message board is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for any medical advice. MANDATORY BOARD ETIQUETTE: 1. No personal attacks. 2. No profanity or use of inappropriate usernames. 3. No self solicitation of goods or services. 4 No discriminatory remarks based on race, gender, or religion. 5. Prohibitive postings include the following: discussing or suggesting the intent to end one's life, moderating or actions made by the moderators, and/or revealing personal information (full names, address, phone number). Rule infraction may result in either a warning or ban, depending on the severity. Kindness matters.