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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #1 
I am disgusted at my life with this hyperacusis. It is ruining my life and marriage. It is morning and here I am drinking to calm myself. I tried to be with my wife for ten minutes and couldn't deal with her voice. We decided to go shopping and my head immediately started hurting from the sound of her cars blower fan. I got angry and she drove me home.It is absolutely ridiculous as how nobody can help a person who is emotionally redirected about everything and everybody. It all becomes a struggle to just survive.Talking is a task.shopping is a nightmare,doing things that most people take for granted has become a dreaded thing for me. My best bet is that no counselor in the world would believe me if I told them that my hearing is the cause.I hate my life!I had a purpose for my kids and my wife but now I'm a thorn in everyones side. I am not looking for sympathy here. I am about finished with coming on to this site because its not providing answers,just opinions.If anyone was really honest about how they feel they would agree that deep down they know that their lives will never be the same.Faith may buy you some time but it doesn't buy back all of the relationships and opportunities that this has destroyed.If you expect a lot than you will be highly disappointed. Expect little and live as a recluse and you just might make it. I am angry as hell that nothing has really touched base with a cure of scientific explanation for this.It confuses me as to why I ever got this in the first place.No explanations at all.Disgusted...
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Paul H
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Rob

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Reply with quote  #2 
Paul -

Would you please go see Dr. Brenner? 

Rob 

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Jackie169

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Reply with quote  #3 

I feel for you Paul but stay with this vital site as you are amongst those who understand you more than most will. The future holds hope for us and technology improves all the time so please dont give up on gaining a better life. Jackie

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Johnloudb

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Reply with quote  #4 

Quote:
I have given up. Divorce is on the way.This is a freaking cruel joke.Period.

Look there is help for you. But, you got to seek it out. Divorce won't solve your problems Paul, and I really hope you can avoid that. Please follow Rob's advice and get help.

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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #5 
The best thing I can do is accept this as a permanent condition. I need to control the emotional stress that it puts on me as well as others.My poor wife cant even talk near my ears without me freaking out on her.It is me to blame.
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Paul H
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catlady2323

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi Paul,

I just wanted to take a moment and commiserate with you, and acknowledge your frustration and honesty about living with hyperacusis.

  I was also hoping to enjoy my three young adult children during this time in my life, but alas, hyperacusis has not made that possible for me.  When you mentioned that the sound of your wife's voice hurt, I could so relate.  I find that I cannot tolerate my husband's voice when I first wake up in the morning.  He is kindly accommodating, and remains quiet until I indicate that I can handle conversing with him.   I also cannot tolerate simple things, like the sound of the blower fan in cars heating and air conditioning, not to mention all the other ways modern life surrounds us with noise. 

In 2006 I was near suicidal from the chronic pain of constantly being bombarded with noise and sound.  So I took a radical step and pulled myself back from the brink, and set about restructuring my life to accommodate my hyperacusis.  I literally turned down the sound in my life. 

At first it was hard to acclimate to being a recluse, but pretty soon I began to feel a subtle feeling of elation.  The pain was gone!  For the first time in my life, I was pain free on a consistent basis.  It has been 4 years now, and although I sometimes feel the loss of not being the kind of parent I had envisioned myself being with the kids at this stage of their lives,  all in all I am much happier. 

I have thoroughly researched the current available knowledge of hyperacusis, and treatments for it, and I have not found anything that will work to increase my loudness discomfort level,  or reduce my sensitivity to high and low frequency sounds.  When first confronted with this awful realization, I was furious !  My life's work and everything that held meaning for me was going to be lost due to my inability to tolerate normal noise ! It didn't seem possible that something so simple, could wreck so much havoc.  I was beyond inconsolable.

That was 4 years ago. Since that time I have accepted the reality that there is no explanation, and all that I can say about it is "it is what it is".   My husband doesn't like it, but he recognizes that it isn't anything I have any ability to do anything about, and he has adjusted to the constraints of life with someone who has an LDL of 50dB. 

I think we have very unrealistic ideas in Western culture about success and responsibility, and "never giving up".  We seem to think that accepting the realities of life, is the same as "giving up".  Sometimes when you have done all you can do, all you can do has to be enough. 

With best regards,

Sharon






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Johnloudb

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Reply with quote  #7 

Hi Sharon,

I know you mean well, but people can and do increase there sound tolerance and I've known three people with hyperacusis who've made very good progress. Two of them completely beat hyperacusis altogether and had no sensitivity issues.  The third, a distant relation, also had phonophobia, and he went from being isolated indoors to making it back to work a year later. He used musicians ear plugs when going out, but was slowly weaning off them and making good progress the last I heard.

Now, you're situation is different since your autistic. Does that mean you can't increase you sound tolerance? I don't know. 

Paul has had success with TRT and got to where he could tolerate some pretty loud environments. I've been where Paul is sound wise and a lot worse, and I've made very good progress and had ups and downs. I do go out as often as I can. And, I think the biggest problem is people don't understand how to deal with there phobic mindset. And, most people with hyperacusis do have some degree of phonophobia. 

So, maybe retreating indoors is the solution for you. But, it sure wasn't the solution for me. It's all in my story.

How far do you retreat? Where do you draw the line? If a person tries to avoid all there disaffections they just increase their sensitivity and often end up in silence, like I did. Not, to mention all the physical sensitivities people bring on themselves.   

There is a path for moving forward and, as Dr. Hazell told me, the key to making progress is to learn the Jastreboff model so you could give a talk on it. And, I can't say I'm even at that point yet. Still got some questions, but I know how to move forward with this condition and do. 

I just don't think anyone has the right to advise people to give up, especially on a chat forum, where you don't know a person's situation. From what I can tell people need just the opposite on this board. They need encouragement and they need to see that some people are successful with this problem, and a number of people on the board have been successful with TRT or there own sound therapies or other methods of treatment like EFT.

For myself, I'm not giving up, I'm getting out and I'm overcoming my sensitivities and making progress, and improving my quality of life. And I've been at this for 12 years

Best Wishes,

John

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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #8 
Paul,

These challenges can be difficult, confusing and frustrating.
While you have to YOUR credit, made enormous strides in dealing with your hyperacusis,
Through NO fault or lack of trying on your part - you still have difficulties with higher pitch sounds,
which your audiologist apparently will not address....
and other difficulties with sound,  that you mention in other threads.....
(that your current clinician has not been able or willing to help you with, and that is not your fault)
It is not unusual for people with hyperacussis to develop some misophonia
and a truly dedicated, caring and knowledgeable doctor that knows how to treat hyperacusis AND it's related challenges of misophonia and phonophobia could be a wonderful step towards much further improvement.
Perhaps the Doctor  that Rob suggests would be able to help you in Many ways  your other one has not.

I'm sure there is a very good reason that he has suggested her name to you many times.....

And perhaps at least part of that reason, can be found in the following quote from another thread -
 Rob mentioned to you- (not too long back)

....I think you deserve credit for getting yourself this far, given your less-than-good clinician.  For whatever reason, maybe frustration, you've tried to do the next bit on your own.  The result so far -- and this is just my take on it from reading your posts -- is that you vacillate between feeling you've made progress and wanting to throw in the towel.  Some of us are suggesting that you take a different approach as you go forward from here.  Don't do it on your own.  Get some help with it from someone who is experienced and knowledgeable.  That could be the missing piece of the puzzle for you.  I suggested Brenner to you because I know of eight folks who have been treated by her for hyperacusis and misophonia and she's helped all eight of them.  

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catlady2323

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Reply with quote  #9 
Hi John,

I did not tell anyone to give up. I offered my story, that's all.  Merely another perspective, another viewpoint. 

There are many who offer the stories of total recovery, partial recovery, or incomplete recovery from hyperacusis.  I did not feel the need to mention those cases as they are ubiquitous.  Instead I felt it appropriate to include a story for those who, for whatever reason, cannot find adequate solutions to their hyperacusis difficulties.

I resent the inference that I am not successful in dealing with my hyperacusis.  I am moving forward in my life, and can recite chapter and verse on the Jastreboff model.  My success is evident in the fact that I am still here to tell my story. I do not have phonophobia now, nor have I ever had a fear of noise.  Instead I understand that noise will cause me pain, period. Now I decide when and under what circumstances I will endure that pain. 

Just to clarify, I have over 5 decades of experience living with hyperacusis, and my sensitivity to sound has not increased since I moved into a noise environment that I control. I do not live in silence, but enjoy a rich sound environment that includes, amongst other things, constant pink noise. 

I apologize if my comments were construed as advocating the approach I have taken as the solution for all who visit this forum board.  Obviously not everyone will find my comments useful.  My contribution was meant to commiserate with those who find themselves beyond frustrated, and to say that there is more than one way to find peace. 

For myself, I have not given up, I have accepted my sensitivities and am making progress daily, and improving my quality of life.  And I have been at this for over 50 years.

Best regards,

Sharon




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sucuqu

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Reply with quote  #10 
Sharon,

I loved your beautiful post--  what I got out of it was upbeat and positive--- I loved your last line which I interpreted to mean accepting reality doesn't mean you are giving up.  I got a lot out of your post. There will be many out there, like me, who will get much meaning and hope from your message. It's always a pleasure to hear different perspectives.

Paul,  I know.  believe me.  the realities of life.  It s----- big time that the things we took for granted now are difficult and challenging.  A simple trip to the grocery store ends with intense pain.  the noises i didn't hear before are now hurting me or raising the tinnitus level.   a simple trip to the car wash yesterday--  I suffered for that last night and today.   Medication is keeping me here.  It helps me have hope.  and to keep thinking: things will get better.    even when they don't. you do what you can do.  It's hard because it's invisible, nobody knows the pain we suffer, what it takes to walk into a noisy area, to walk down the sidewalk to get into our car, and on and on.
Paul, you are not alone with this suffering.     Sue
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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #11 
Thanks tremendously for all of your thoughtful replies. i guess my biggest concern is losing the one I love due to my many bad days and the anger it causes me. I try so hard to ignore the certain triggers and it just gets the anxiety up even more.My wife deserves credit for standing by me all of this time. She has threatened to leave me countless times but always reneges on her word.I am really not one who should complain. I have very high LDLs and can manage a lot of loud sounds.It is the intimacy of conversation that I miss and this poses the greatest stress factor at the moment.
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Paul H
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SkaMasta097

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Reply with quote  #12 
saab,

I would have to agree with everything you said. Hyperacusis has ruined my life. It seems like there is no hope for me. My girlfriend broke up with me two years ago after I got H and it doesn't look like I'll have stable relationships ever again: family, friends, professional, or romantic. It seems like I'll never live a happy fulfilled life ever again.
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mondelle

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Reply with quote  #13 
HI Paul,
I sincerely hope that your wife do not leave you,and will try to be a bit more sensitive to your condition.
Have you tried to educate her on the condition, shown her literature etc.?
Drinking is not going to solve your problem and getting emotionally distress will only make matters worse for you and your wife,you have to find a way to make her understand what is happening to you and she has to be supportive even if it takes a toll on her.
I know it seems impossible right now,your frustration is really burning up the board.
Please try the treatments and give it time,hopefully you will find you have the inner strength to deal and perhaps overcome your struggles.
Mondelle

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Annette Hinds
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Johnloudb

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Reply with quote  #14 

Quote:
There are many who offer the stories of total recovery, partial recovery, or incomplete recovery from hyperacusis. I did not feel the need to mention those cases as they are ubiquitous. Instead I felt it appropriate to include a story for those who, for whatever reason, cannot find adequate solutions to their hyperacusis difficulties.

Okay, I didn't get that when I first read your post.

Quote:
 I do not have phonophobia now, nor have I ever had a fear of noise. Instead I understand that noise will cause me pain, period. Now I decide when and under what circumstances I will endure that pain. 

Dealing with hyperacusis requires a postive outlook. Many on this board tend to demonize sounds and their symptoms, and not deal with the pschological aspect of their hearing. As you know, beliefs have a powerful influence over our hearing, not to mention just about everything we do.

Even for me I find in extremely helpful to hear about others successes with hyperacusis and to see what can be accomplished. It's helped me move forward and take steps toward improvement in ways I may not have. I understand that there are limitations to what some can achieve. 

I'm glad you haven't given up.

Best Wishes,

John


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markbergemann

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Reply with quote  #15 

Paul,

My heart goes out to you and your family.  I hope you can stay together, but even if you cannot, there can still be plenty of good in life.  Changing aspects of one's life, especially having to give up parts of it, is very difficult.  It is sometimes hard to see that fulfilling and enjoyable things can still be added to one's life.

I have had tinnitus for 38 years and hyperacusis for most of that time.  It slowly worsened until several years ago when it quickly became worse and threatened to change my life in many more ways.  That's when I found this network and learned a therapy that has quickly improved my condition.  H still affects my daily life, but it does not control me, I control it (manage to live with it). 

Some people take years to respond to therapy and then they make slow improvement.  We are all different.  Keep looking for ways to deal with H in your life, and hopefully also find a therapy that provides some improvement. 

My faith in Jesus has certainly helped me to deal with T/H and several other equally significant health problems.  Do you have a place to go for discussing spiritual matters?  I believe that controlling my anger about my H has been a significant part of my improvement.  The spiritual aspect can be a big help in that, at least it was for me.

Hang in there.

Mark  


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Mark Bergemann
The Hyperacusis Network saved my life (that's the way I see it)
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Marilyn

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Reply with quote  #16 
Hi Paul,
Hope things are better today? 


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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #17 
I appreciate all of you helping me to lift myself up again. It really does help me to see some caring individuals like you. I am really blessed to be able to let go of all the anger and frustration that this causes.I just don't know what works. I am trying cotton in my ears to be around my spouse at home. The t.v. still cuts deeply but her voice is less intrusive.I do have my faith in Jesus as well but Ive turned away time and time again.There really isn't anywhere else to turn to that can comfort me.I don't possess a great deal of healing faith but I am willing to try and endure this the best I can.I know that with all of you that this is truly painful and must be reckoned with everyday.New challenges and many personal struggles will be encountered. It is a true sign of diligence that will mark difficulties along the way.We should all share those subtle victories each moment and encourage each other whenever possible.I,one day would like to be a true testimony of cure and inspire those on this site that have felt lonely ,scared and confused.I may just be a continued support for those that are struggling. For now I am depending on all of you for that strengthening. Thank you all Paul
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Paul H
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catlady2323

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Reply with quote  #18 
Hi Paul,

Glad you are feeling better.  I just wanted to mention something I have found that has really helped me.  My husband loves to watch TV and has perfectly fine hearing.  I  however have both a collapsed tolerance for noise, and hyperacute hearing. So I ordered for him something that is typically used by those that are hard of hearing:  Sennheiser 1410 earbuds. 

When I can no longer handle the noise of the TV, he wears the Sennheiser earbuds with the TV sound muted, and I can then read or do other activities in peace without pain.  The earbuds are designed so that they do not bleed out sound, and yet he can still hear me if I want to say something to him.  The additional advantage to this is if I want to watch something also, but the level of sound he needs is too much for my hyperacute hearing, I can lower the volume to my comfort level, while he can still listen at his "normal" decibel level. 

I am much happier now that I am not in constant pain, and can enjoy his company (and he can enjoy mine), now that there isn't this ongoing tension of noise I just cannot tolerate.

Best wishes, hope today is just a little better than yesterday,

Sharon

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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #19 
Hi Paul,

You mentioned-
The t.v. still cuts deeply .....

As I was thinking of your difficulties with the TV,
the sound of which many mention as being difficult- for their hearing/ears -
I wondered if you have the option to hook yours  up to external speakers, and perhaps by doing that,  would be able to have better control over the settings- perhaps by running the audio - through a stereo system?
Or something designed for that? As I have seen setups advertised for using for the sound - for the newer TVs that are out....but i have never looked at them, the ones i had seen in the stores seemed to be heavy on the bass.....and i just stayed away from them.

But maybe there would be something you can do - for your set at home and maybe for the ones at your folks and/or in laws -----to make the sound more comfortable and tollerable for you for now ....
even as you keep working on improving your tolerances, to the higher pitch sounds.

You mentioned-
There really isn't anywhere else to turn to that can comfort me.......

Have you tried to contact the clinician that Rob mentioned?
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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #20 
I do have other televisions in my house that I do tailor to fit my intolerances. However,The main t.v. in my living room is where my wife spends a great deal of time watching. It is a large flat screen sony CRT type and has this awful sharpness beyond words.I use the smaller flat screen in my room that I have reduced the treble on.The idea of seinhauser headphones sounds ideal but I priced them somewhere around $300. dollars.With my high freq. sensitivity,it is no wonder why I can hear saliva inside the mouths of people as they speak.Today.I opted for earbuds while being around my wife and her horrible t.v.She just gets angry most of the time and turns it up loud! She will never understand what I am hearing.As for the clinician that Rob suggested,I called her and she told me that she would check my LDLs(I did that already),Use TRT treatment(Im doing that too) and charge my over a thousand dollars(I paid that expense already). It would be foolish to go through the same ordeal again. I'm just like most everyone else here on this site.Stuck somewhere and not getting out soon.
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Paul H
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Rob

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Reply with quote  #21 
Paul -

I'm glad you called Dr. Brenner.  It shouldn't be a surprise that she said she'd check your LDL and use TRT. 

The difference is that she knows what she's doing and your previous clinician failed you. 

According to your former clinician, your LDLs are nearly normal and you no longer have hyperacusis. Brenner would either confirm that or, if it turns out you do have hyperacusis, would be able to help you continue to re-establish your sound tolerance.  Your previous clinician claimed to be a TRT practitioner, but Dr. Brenner is the real thing.  Let me put it another way.  You haven't been doing TRT.  You purchased this approach from someone, and she was not up to the job. 

You're right that it would be foolish to go through the same ordeal again, but the point is you've never worked with someone who knows what he or she is doing.  Why don't you give yourself a chance to do that and get your life back?  The truth is, with very little help and support from the first clinician, you've been able to get to a point where you peridiocally feel that you've made good progress.  This isn't one of those times.  I feel for you, but you have options.  You're the only one who can take those options and see where they lead. 

Rob


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Johnloudb

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Reply with quote  #22 

Paul,

I got to agree with Rob. You really haven't done TRT ... and your other TRT doctor clearly didn't understand TRT. 

Yet, you've made excellent progress ... but you got to learn how to finish the Job.

Also, why don't you get an external stereo system, one that sound good to you, for your wifes TV. That way you could adjust the treble to suit you and have higher quality sound. 

Fortunately, my parents are very accommodating and my mom uses headphones when I'm upstairs and my dad will just read the captions. We have a music room with a big screen TV where I don't bug my dad when he's watching a movie or listening to music. 


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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #23 
If I am using sound generators isnt that TRT? I also listen to music constantly with headphones.What exactly constitutes TRT therapy? Thanks guys I'm all ears(too much ears).
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Paul H
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #24 
Hi Paul,

Here is something Susan Gold had to say awhile back - (in another thread)

Quote:
It is important to note that TRT includes not only sound therapy.  Fully half of the protocol involves directive (educational) counseling based on your history and test results.  It helps to understand the mechanism of the auditory system and how you wound up in this situation.  It also answers most of the questions posted above which neutralizes the reaction you are having.  Both sound therapy and directive counseling, on an ongoing basis, are essential in getting patients to the goal of being able to live comfortably in a busy, noisy world.

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BonnieBeth

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Reply with quote  #25 
Paul,

Everyone on this thread is giving you excellent advice and help.  Sharon's post was very moving and I saw it as a personal testimonial, and everyone is different.  She has accepted her limitations, and has gone on enjoying life as she sees it.  John, I don't think she meant to discourage Paul; I believe she was just relating her own experience and that it was not meant to paint a grim picture for Paul.  My testimonial is that I feel I am cured.  But there are some who would say I'm not (i.e., I can't go to very loud discos where they play karioke, or loud movies or rock shows).  But I can and do go dancing, and to clubs and plays, and restaurants and I can travel.  Five years ago I couldn't leave my bedroom.  I couldn't even turn on the radio.

Paul you sound like you are probably in the same place I was in back in '05, where the sound of a woman's voice on TV made the hairs on my arms bug out.  I know what that agony is like.  The way I described it in a previous post was like a root canal in the ears without novocaine. 

I'm wondering if Dr. Brenner is the doctor I'm thinking of (near Philadelphia).  I saw a TRT specialist there, but I'm not sure if that was her name; I can't remember anymore.  It was in '07 when I saw her for a follow-up because Susan Gold had already retired.  When my hyperacusis first happened in '05, I started out with a Brookstone noise machine that Rob recommended initially and it was excellent for indoors, but I knew I needed more because I couldn't use it outside.  So I went all out for the TRT based upon Dr. Jastreboff's model, and I bought all the books.  The pink noise CD is very good, too.

I officially began my TRT treatment in December '05, five months after the horrific MRI that caused my problem.  That was when I went to Susan Gold at the University of Maryand.  It involved the following:  I wore the GHI generators for two years. You start at about 2 hours per day, and increase slowly until you are wearing the gens about 10 or more hours per day (this varies from patient to patient).   In addition, I went for therapy (behavior modification) and forced myself to go out for short intervals and introduce myself to sound slowly.  I can tell you this:  I never ever would have made it without TRT.  I was able to recover very quickly and noticed an immediate improvement when I started wearing the GHI generators.  Again, everyone is different but if you haven't done so, I urge you to consult with either Dr. Brenner or with someone experienced with TRT based upon Dr. Jastreboff's recommendations.  Are the sound generators you are using the same GHI ones?  I know there is another company that makes similar generators but the way it was described to me, the GHI's are supposed to be the best.

Paul, when I first got hyperacusis I was so frightened I actually believed I was going to die.  I was giving up hope.  If I had not found this forum I'm certain I would have gone mad.  After the MRI the only thing I could hear were the highest frequencies (like cymbals) and the lowest bass frequencies.  My midrange was gone.  In fact, I had to stop seeing my therapist because the sound of her voice and very word she'd speak with an "S" was so horrible I had to cover my ears when she talked.  I had my phone shut.  I couldn't watch TV, play the radio or go outside.  David hated me because I watched TV with the sound off and closed captions on.  We stopped talking to each other.  I couldn't see my friends.  I was a mess.

Not anymore.  But again, it took several years to reach this point.  Until recently, I had to wear the generators to my Squaredance class because I couldn't stand the frequencies of the music.  Last year, I was finally able to begin the class without the generators.  Even the Open House where there are loads of people there did not bother me.  Sometimes the music still annoys me if the caller has the volume too loud, other times I don't notice it.  But I accept the variances.  Just to be able to stop wearing the generators was an incredible achievement for me.

Please stay focused and you will succeed.  I know that sounds like it came out of a fortune cookie, but I truly believe attitude is everything.  You have to act first, then the positive attitude will come.  Please consider seeing Dr. Brenner or someone who knows how to administer TRT correctly, with the ear generators.  I really hope you get well and feel better.

All the best to you,

Bonnie






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BonnieBeth

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Reply with quote  #26 
Everybody,

Last year I learned about a therapy that has been around since the 1940's.  It's called Recovery training (Recovery Inc.) based upon the work of Dr. Abraham Low.  I've read his books, "Mental Health Through Will-Training" and  "Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger." 

This method of will training has to do with using specific tools to change the way you respond to events or situations that make your life feel hopeless.  People who are in the acute stages of hyperacusis probably cannot attend the group meetings.  However, the books and method have been very useful to me and helpful in the course of retraining myself to deal with loud sounds and high frequency situations, even though the books and method were not written with hyperacusis in mind.

Recovery involves learning to use "spottings" to help a person learn to take control of events and situations rather than to be a victim of them, which makes the person feel helpless.  (One of the spottings is:  "Helplessness is not hopelessness".)   Some other spottings include "Do things in part acts."  "Feelings are not facts."  "Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance."  "Fear is a belief - beliefs can be changed."

Three I found most helpful:  "Anticipation is often worse than realization."  "If you can't change a situation, change your attitude towards it."  "Be self led, not symptom led."  There are literally hundreds of spottings.

Even if you fail, you are supposed to always endorse yourself for making an effort to change for the better.

I know those suffering from acute hyperacusis may not be able to attend the meetings, but I think Recovery now offers phone meetings.  (I believe there are devices that can be put on the phone to make conversations bearable.)  I have found Recovery very useful.  For example, in addition to hyperacusis I am very sensitive and allergic to strong sunlight and I was only able to drive locally.  When I began Recovery, I was petrified to drive outside Brooklyn during the summer.  Last summer I drove out to Long Island for the first time in years.  Despite wearing my hat, umbrella and strong sunblock, I took no chances - I had my sheets of spottings right next to me.  When I felt that horrible fear that I would get the worst sunburn ever, I pulled my car over and used the spottings to calm me down.  It sounds silly, but I find that for panic, it works.  Because of my Recovery tools, I was able to overcome my panic (photophobia) about driving (the last time I drove to Long Island prior to that was in 2001, and it was on that drive to Farmingdale that I suffered a debilitating sunburn flare).  It was very difficult, but because I took that step I don't have the same level of fear.  I still burn if I'm out in sunlight too long, but I don't allow the fear to confine me to my house during the day.

I can't say whether Recovery tools would help for hyperacusis but maybe it can work for phonophobia.  I think it's worth a try.  I don't know if it would have helped me in 2005.  But it definitely was helpful post-TRT.  In fact, it was the Recovery tools that prompted me to take that step and leave my generators home last year, when I went to dance class.  I haven't used them since.

If anyone wants to check Recovery out, the website is: 

http://www.lowselfhelpsystems.org

Gosh it's 1:30 am!  Time to go, folks...

Bonnie

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Johnloudb

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Reply with quote  #27 

Quote:
Recovery involves learning to use "spottings" to help a person learn to take control of events and situations rather than to be a victim of them, which makes the person feel helpless. (One of the spottings is: "Helplessness is not hopelessness".) Some other spottings include "Do things in part acts." "Feelings are not facts." "Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance." "Fear is a belief - beliefs can be changed."

Three I found most helpful: "Anticipation is often worse than realization." "If you can't change a situation, change your attitude towards it." "Be self led, not symptom led." There are literally hundreds of spottings.

You hear that Paul! Spottings!!! 

Thanks for sharing that Bonnie ... good stuff. When I first started TRT all I had was good thoughts and an understanding of the Jastreboff model. I needed both to move forward, and that I did. 

I eventually made it to a TRT doctor and the counseling did help. Unfortunately, he didn't have a good understanding of the Jastreboff model, and didn't really know how to help me with many of my difficulties. However, I went back to Dr. Hazell's website ( http://www.tinnitus.org  ), and he was kind enough to answer my questions (and others questions) and helped me move forward again. 

John


Sharon,

I apologize for misinterpreting your post.

Best, John


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gardennut

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Reply with quote  #28 
Hi Paul, Maybe this is a dumb question but I haven't seen any mention of using earplugs.
Are you wearing them at all when trying to talk with your wife? Or going in the car or shopping places.
I agree with Sharon that if you can't find a solution to the problem one has to try hard to adapt.
If I feel very down I think " Haiti ' or Afghanistan " and remind myself of how glad I'm not in either of those places. I know this type of thinking doesn"t always help, but sometimes it does.
I've also read that depression is bad for your brain, so in efforts to keep Alzheimers at bay, we should try to fight that sensation, I think.
There's an expression I like: If you can't be happy at least be cheerful. sometimes it's self fulfilling.
Hope these thoughts don't make you groan..........
Cheers,  Donna



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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #29 
I am thankful for the overwhelming responses for me. I am sure they will be a benefit to me and many others who read them.I have come a long way with the use of my sound gens. They are not ghi but Amplisound gens. My complaints best fall into line with Bonnies experiences.It started out the same for me with the lack of midrange and bass. All things sounded tinny and harsh.Water from the faucet was murder for me.I could go on but wont,thankfully.I am pretty much a happy person while I am at work with my male friends. They dont offer any pain when they speak to me. It is my home life that is the mess. My wife just calls me a mental case because I hide from her voice and now I wear ear buds tightly in my ears.I may just ride this out another summer before considering Gail Brenner. I appreciate all of the support both mentally and emotionally. I think that all I need to do is realize that I am not alone in this.You people here are so educated and intelligent on most things here that I feel like an infant in knowledge.I do limit my time on this site and do no further research other than what I read here.I may try the Omega 3 fatty acids to my diet as I read from Dans thread.I have curtailed any physical exercise for the past two weeks to see if it improves me at all. I did mention that I have neck issues.I recall three things that I had right before my hyp.crash...1) hard running 3 to 4 miles 3x a week 2) stress(emotional) and 3) hours of video gaming with headphones on. It stands to reason that all three may have contributed to the cause. Lowering my resistance to the brains ability to control sounds became collapsed.Of course,after the onset of hyperacusis and loud tinnitus, head pain and ear pain,My stress levels increased even more. `This must be part of the reason it takes so long to overcome this condition. A long gradual return of mental normalcy will no doubt re manage the auditory dis functioning.I think on these terms as part of my own self healing,good thought processing.I sure hope I am on the right track.
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Guflu

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Reply with quote  #30 
Paul,

never underestimate the power of yourself and your mind. You are a strong person!

I found myself once being annoyed and angry about the sound of plastic bags. But then i said to myself in my head: "Stop! It is not annoying, it is a normal sound". And behold, from that moment on I am not bothered by the sound anymore! No kidding!

I can understand that female voices are a more difficult to handle than male voices. I had the same. But as long as you keep telling yourself that your wife's voice is troublesome, it will be. You just have to challenge yourself. Step into the world of her voice again. It's no use hiding from it, for you cannot get adjusted to something you are hiding from. 

Try to let her voice enter your ears, without thinking all kinds of thoughts like: "I don't want to hear it", "why is it soo sharp", "please stop talking". And most important: don't blame her for talking: it is not her voice that is the problem, it is your reaction to her voice!

Maybe, after training and training, you will find yourself growing accustomed to her voice again, without trouble. I used to have problems with certain female voices, but that's almost in the past now.

As long as someone is not talking INTO my ears, i am fine nowadays

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It's the sparkle you become when you conquer anxiety. [Bjork-Crystalline]
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #31 
Hi Paul,

You mentioned -
I think that all I need to do is realize that I am not alone in this.

That does help, alot - and to know others have gotten much better does too....
but from what i can tell that is not all it takes.
Just knowing you are not alone with these challenges,
will probably not make your wife's voice more tolerable to you----
Or make it so you can tolerate those higher pitch sounds....
or other sounds you have a hard time with......

But knowing others have been though similar situations can help in some ways....

And what Guflu says makes a lot of sense!

You mentioned -
I have curtailed any physical exercise for the past two weeks to see if it improves me at all. I did mention that I have neck issues.

If you have issues with your neck, i could see where a different form of exercise (something lower in impact) may be easier on your system.

You also mentioned-
I recall three things that I had right before my hyp.crash...1) hard running 3 to 4 miles 3x a week 2) stress(emotional) and 3) hours of video gaming with headphones on.

In an old post you mentioned-
It all started in DEC 2008 while playing on line gaming(Americas Army) with the use of headphones.First I noticed the Tinnitus.After a couple of weeks,I noticed an increased sensitivity especially to high frequency sounds.(metal,refrigerator fans,computer, keys,coins,cymbals in music etc) The sensitivity increased to human voices and the consonant "S" became irritating to me.The sensitivity went even further so that deep voices began to irritate me with a constant resonating in my ears.Next,my own voice seems deeper and causes me pain  ears to resonate/vibrate.Now,my ears hurt from loud and soft sounds and my scalp feels pain from the overload

In a different post you mentioned-
.....I developed the tinn.just a month ago followed up by a progression of sound sensitivity. I  now notice ,that my television sounds high and tinny.My home stereo sounds like it has no low range either. I find myself turning the bass way up and the treble all the way down. My other experience is with peoples voices.Females are  too clean and crisp (irritating).........

......I did the mistake of having an M.R.I. just before all of the sensitivity actually started.......


When I looked at that post, I wondered -
Were you given hearing protection to use for the MRI?
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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #32 
Guflu I did do just what you had mentioned to me today. I periodically removed the cotton from my ears to listen directly to my wife speaking. At times her voice didn't bother me but I kept anticipating just a click of saliva or pop from her lips.The television was out of the question for me though.It is funny how you mention plastic bags! Man,I remember that it wasn't long ago that I really suffered with that too. At night the occasional plastic bag will give me a reaction but not much anymore.I also remember hearing keys,coins,belt buckles,even a zipper on a jacket clanking! Now its history. It is funny how these things disappear without a trace.I still feel that my wife's voice in on the highest spectrum and in some time it wont bother me either.I hope she remains patient. I started with the Omega 3 fish oil today and will see if it helps.
To Breeze: I remember that post but darn if I could find it.I do remember that I had called my ent Dr. and told him how voices were bothering me.-He said "Paul,your tinnitus is getting worse!""You NEED an M.R.I.". So,it was at the very start of my sensitivity to my wife's voice.The funny thing is that the M.R.I. was loud but I tolerated it with headphones that played music. The worst complaint for me at the time was the horrible tinnitus which dominated the first two weeks.What followed next was a severe case of hypercubes.(darn spell check...funny!!)Hyperacusis!!!!!

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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #33 
Hi Paul,
The spell check goof made me laugh too....
I think it was Ben at one time that requested that the word 'hyperacusis' be put in the spell checker!

It's good to hear you were given hearing protection for the MRI.
If you want to find that post, about the MRI and some others probably too-
try the following link and click your name and find posts----or threads.
(apparently at one time you re-registered with the same name.which makes older posts harder to find)
That one i found was in a different thread, but i like this one.

progress
http://www.chat-hyperacusis.net/post?id=3447229

(If you wish for me to delete or edit out part of This post - let me know.)
I had posted in one of those threads, and noticed your difficulty with the treble -
as i had the bass turned all the way down at one time........and remembered something about it- that let me find the thread. (with the quote in my post above.)
Hope that is clearer than mud.
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catlady2323

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Reply with quote  #34 
Hi Paul,

The Sennheiser T1410  earbuds I purchased for my husband to wear while he watches tv. cost $150 online with shipping included.

Just wanted to mention how much this has helped me to enjoy his company. 

Best regards,

Sharon

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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #35 
Thanks Sharon But unfortunately we havent talked for days or watched t.v. together for a week. My hyperacusis is getting worse with high frequencies too.running water,computer fan,exhaust fans etc.I keep getting told that it is misophonia which is senseless to me.Maybe when I have the right circumstances in my life,I will consider the headphones but I doubt that will ever happen Thanks Paul
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #36 
Hi Paul,
In another thread you asked -
Quote:
Is it possible to have both misophonia and hyp?


That's a great question - and the answer is YES.
(and I think it may be fairly common for someone with hyperacusis to have at least a bit of misophonia)

you mention -
.....My hyperacusis is getting worse with high frequencies too.running water,computer fan,exhaust fans etc.

Have you been around sound that has been too loud and difficult for your hearing/ears recently?
Not just stressful, like the eating sounds you mention - but Too difficult to tolerate.
(Like you have mentioned in the past at your inlaws, with the volume they listen to the TV, etc. )

When around sound that is above one's tolerances, other sounds can become more difficult for awhile.
(a setback can occur)
My understanding is sound does not necessarily have to be loud to do that, but Above ones tolerance levels for the frequency or frequencies, contained in the sound.
(Which may explain why YOU may be able to listen to lower pitch music - at a higher volume, but if you try to listen to higher pitch music, you may have a very difficult time with it  - or at least have to turn it down, even if it is something you really like and wish to hear. )

you mention-
......keep getting told that it is misophonia which is senseless to me

I am NOT in the medical field and can only offer an opinion.
and others know more about this than i do -
But I think your intolerance to very high pitch sound may be hyperacusis, or at least part hyperacusis.
(even though you have been able to improve  your tolerances to other sound/frequencies)
Keep in mind it's possible to have both.
And from what i have read and seen posted - they can both be treated.
And many around here are doing much better than they were at one time.
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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #37 
Thanks Breeze I do think you are absolutely right on the link between my Hyp. and Misophonia. it does feel like two sides of the coin for me.At least we know that the hyp.is treatable so,that is what I am shooting for with constant broadband and music therapy. I am also starting to sit down and listen to my wifes voice periodically as horrible as it sounds. It can best be explained a being very high pitched and having almost a hiss, like a computer fan.Maybe it is my tinnitus spiking and blending in with her voice. I don't know.Also, the profound sounds of saliva clicking.
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #38 
Hi Paul,

You mentioned -
At least we know that the hyp.is treatable so,that is what I am shooting for.....

Rob mentioned to you, not too long back - (when recommending Dr. Brenner)
Get some help with it from someone who is experienced and knowledgeable.  That could be the missing piece of the puzzle for you.  I suggested Brenner to you because I know of eight folks who have been treated by her for hyperacusis and misophonia and she's helped all eight of them.  
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catlady2323

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Reply with quote  #39 
Hi Paul,

I understand how irritating (and painful) those high frequency noises can be.  I don't have soft sound difficulty, but sometimes things like running water or the computer fan (or when mcafee is scanning) will really annoy me.  And exhaust fans I can't tolerate hardly at all. 

My LDL is 50 dB for the middle frequency range, but drops to 30 dB for the high frequencies (but that may be because I have hyperacute hearing for the high frequencies). So what aQuieterBreeze said may be the case that the "soft sounds" at higher frequencies are part of the hyperacusis. 

I have also noticed with mine, that when I am exposed to noise above my tolerances for several hours, or if I am really tired and stressed,  then I do get a "kickback effect" of really noticing certain high frequency sounds that normally they don't bother me.  

Hope you find some solutions that work for you,

Sharon

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saab1216

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Reply with quote  #40 
Breeze I will try Dr.Brenner at the close of this summer if things dont become more tolerant for me.It really comes at a high cost as Ive paid last time. it isn't like I am poor but I think that I can try my own therapies.Its a funny thing that the hardest part of having these difficulties is making other people understand.They can be worse than the problem itself.Some compassion and patience would be my best blessing.
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