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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #1 
It's driving me crazy.  I have tinnitus and over 50% hearing loss in both ears.  I can't stand it when there is too much bass on TV or on stereo.  It's all I hear and it seems like he is playing it louder than normal yet he claims he's not.  When he's in the garage I can hear the boom boom in the house..   It would be simple enough to turn the bass down but I'm not the one who controls the music in this house.  My husband does not understand and thinks I've lost it and I have tried and tried to tell him the bass bothers me but he won't listen and continues to play it.  He is ready to leave me and I him.   Can anyone understand what it sounds like to me, all I can hear is the bass, sometimes he plays for hours, all I can hear is the boom boom boom boom until I lose it and we end up having big arguments.   On my own little tv I can tolerate it, sounds normal to me because there is no bass setting.

Is there anything I can do to help this problem.  It is an awful thing to deal with because it tests my sanity to the limit.  The doctor told me that I have tinnitus but what more can he do for my bass sensitivity.
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Dori,

You mentioned-
I can't stand it when there is too much bass on TV or on stereo.  It's all I hear and it seems like he is playing it louder than normal yet he claims he's not.  When he's in the garage I can hear the boom boom in the house..   It would be simple enough to turn the bass down but I'm not the one who controls the music in this house.  My husband does not understand and thinks I've lost it and I have tried and tried to tell him the bass bothers me but he won't listen and continues to play it.  He is ready to leave me and I him.


If he has sub woofers turned on, maybe turning them off would help.
If he plays it loud, in my opinion it's not good for him either.
Sound systems and stereos today are different than they used to be.

While they used to be able to be played loudly, I don't remember loud cars going down the road, either nearby or over a block away, or even more distant  (sonically) rattling the walls and floor.....of houses they passed near or were even at a distance from.

But some sound systems today can do that......
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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #3 

Thanks, I know that he use to have woofers but I don't know if he has them in the house?  I just looked at his receiver (think that's what it's called)  and his bass is turned almost to the end with treble being in the middle.

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Marilyn

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Reply with quote  #4 
Could you print off some information about hyperacusis/recruitment off the main message board?  That might help your husband to understand this is a valid physical problem for you.
Wishing you the best.


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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #5 

Thanks, I already did that and handed it to him to read.  Guess he didn't?  I also told him that I would make an appt and take him along so the doctor could explain it to him.  He said there was no need and that he would turn his music down.  Naught!  maybe it's not as bad with the hypercusis after seeing his bass turned up full blast?  

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catlady2323

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi Dorri,

I understand how you feel and your frustration.  I have lived with being sensitive to noise my entire life, and there is something especially aggravating about the boom boom boom of the bass from stereo systems.  I have been known to track down where in my neighborhood the booming bass is coming from, and to ask that it be turned down. 

Have you heard of Tinnitus Retraining Therapy ?  It was pioneered by Pawel Jastreboff in 1988, and has shown promising results.  You might want to google it, and consider finding an audiologist to work with you that is trained in this technique. 

I completely understand your anger when forced to listened to the constant boom boom boom from the stereo bass.  Maybe your husband would be willing to turn down the volume if you tell him there are others with similar hypersensitivity to this particular noise, and you are looking into getting treatment for yourself so this current accommodation on his part of turning down the noise,  would be temporary .

Best regards,

Sharon

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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #7 

Thanks I'll look into it. 

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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi Dori,

Maybe you can look on the receiver and see if there is a setting for extra bass or loudness? If so is it on?
(If it is it may help to turn it off.)

Also if your TV has a "sound menu" It may be helpful to see what options it has -
You may be able to turn off something like "BBE" or enhanced bass.
I'm sure different sets and brands have different menus.
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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #9 
  Thanks, I was told that my husband's music is going through a woofer.  There is some setting on the back of the box but I don't want to fiddle with it because I don't know what is what?.  He does have the bass on his receiver turned almost 3/4 ways but I was told that isn't affecting the sound because it's going thru the woofer instead. 
As for the big flat screen he watches, he's got about 4 remotes to control that and everything else that is connected to it so it's all too complicated for me. 
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cbBen

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Reply with quote  #10 
You need the bass turned ALL THE WAY DOWN and maybe the treble raised a bit, though I suspect that might bother you as well.  Also no subwoofer -- that makes a huge difference.  You need someone who knows how to hook up the system while bypassing the subwoofer, or worst case try turning the subwoofer on its side or upside down to see whether that reduces the bass.

Then you can see how much volume reduction you need in addition.  Your husband's ears will adjust and he will suffer no reduction in enjoyment whatsoever.  The human ear adjusts.  I can't imagine a husband valuing preservation of the music-listening experience over the comfort of his own wife, and I am a big music person.  This should not even be an issue.

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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #11 
 Ben thank you for being so thoughtful.  I wish my husband would be willing to listen without firing off and work with me to solve this dilemma.  I'll have to catch him on one of his good days and try to explain.
 I've lost a high pitch tone in my hearing permanently so I don't hear the full range of the music and that is probably why bass is so prominent.  It doesn't help when the bass is turned up loud and way over the treble?  Maybe hubby has a problem hearing the bass, lol. 
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cbBen

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Reply with quote  #12 
No the bass knob probably needs to go all the way down, and the subwoofer probably needs to be turned off (it may have a simple on/off switch).  In some ways it sounds as though you are dealing with a noisy neighbor, not the person who vowed to love and cherish you in sickness and health.  I'd think he would be happy to change the settings to keep his wife out of physical discomfort.  Wouldn't you do as much for him?
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #13 
Hi Dori,

For the TV, if you have the make and model number - you can probably go to the manufactures web site and look in their "support" section to  see if they have their manuals available for downloading.
There may be settings you can access from buttons on the TV itself, or from the remote that came with the TV - It  should have  the same brand name on the remote, as the TV ....
and if you can find the sound menu you MAY be able to turn the enhanced bass off or down - (on the TV)
My TV also has settings for treble and bass ---and allows for either to be adjusted ....as well allowing for  the enhanced bass - to be turned off.
Though I do not know if that will affect it, if he is playing it though external speakers, hooked up to the stereo.

If catching him on a good day does not help ....
do you know someone else you could possibly talk to
like a buddy of his, or a relative that may let him know HE could wind up with very intrusive tinnitus or hearing loss, or even hyperacusis ...... - from playing music too loud.
Someone else who could tell him it would be a good idea to turn it down ...
Since it seems he really cares about himself ....maybe if it may affect him, he'll think about it more.
(Though that is not what it should take.)

With the subwoofer,  if he won't turn it off - maybe the placement of it could make a Little difference -
others would know ALOT more about that than i do - but maybe if he changed where he has it sitting . or the direction it is facing, maybe it would help at least a little....
It would definitely help a whole Lot more if he would turn it off though.

Ben is right, it sounds more like dealing with a noisy neighbor, and maybe a neighbor will call it in eventually.
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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #14 
Thanks Guys.  At one point he did try to turn it down some but it wasn't  enough so when I mentioned something he got upset with me.  I thank you all for the advice on turning down and up but I don't normally touch the equipment in the LR so I wouldn't feel right doing it without his knowledge,  but when I get him in a good mood I would love to pass this on to him.  He could still have it loud just less bass. 

I'm grateful for all your help. 
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cbBen

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Reply with quote  #15 
You're right -- adjusting the settings without his knowledge would not be the way to go (plus he'd notice anyway).  Good luck!
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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #16 
Hi Dori,

I understand your reluctance and hesitation to change the settings without asking, and I do think Ben is right.
Maybe if you can download the manual for the TV and perhaps for the subwoofer, if it's available  - he will have a better idea of what settings are available,  - and hopefully help by lowering the bass.
Turning off the sub could help alot. 

Having a product manual available on the computer can be helpful as sometimes they are easily searchable, and that can be handy when looking for some things, like specific settings or options and settings that are available - (when searching through them for something.)

I am still very sensitive to bass- not as sensitive as at one time, but the "regular bass' setting on my stereo is still, just above halfway to normal.
I do not have subwoofers, but if i did they would be turned off, as i would not be able to tolerate them -
being able to listen to music again has been, And is,  a real joy for me- and very helpful as well,
And if I had subs, I seriously doubt i would have been able to listen at all.
Among other things - percussion was extremely hard for me to tolerate .....

Wishing you the best as you try to work this situation out.
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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #17 

LOL, my husband told me he likes his bass but I will try to get him to work with me on this one.  Thank you and wishing you the best also.

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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #18 
How loud does he play it?
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Dorri

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Reply with quote  #19 

Quote:
Originally Posted by aQuieterBreeze
How loud does he play it?

LOL, too loud for me!  The bass settings on his receiver are turned up 3/4 ways while treble is set half ways which is okay but it may not have anything to do with the subwoofer box on the floor since it has it's own settings and I'm not quite sure what it's set at?

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aQuieterBreeze

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Reply with quote  #20 
Hi Dori,

How high  is the volume knob or level set?
Can it be heard at the neighbor's house?

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